Brad Guigar
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You are, of course, completely correct. It is never wise to keep all your eggs in one basket.
Before you start, I want you to plug “longform” into the Search on this site and read several of the most recent posts on the subject. I’ve posted an awful lot on this topic —— too much to re-post here. Specifically, you should read everything going back to October 2013.(Don’t worry… a couple of those are re-posts… it’s really not that much.) Once you’re up-to-speed, come back, and we’ll pick up the discussion from there, OK?
But I’ll give you a headstart… if you’re envisioning posting individual pages on a website, your thinking is almost ten years out of date (with a few exceptions for special circumstances).
I started responding and it turned into a site post. Great topic!
I’m seeing a lot of problems here.
First of all, if you’re going to combine pencil sketches with digital lettering, greyscale narration boxes, color sound effects (?!?), scattered greyscale backgrounds, and several panels with no backgrounds at all… you’re going to end up with a final visual presentation that looks… unfinished. Overall, I feel as if this comic is either rushed, half-finished or both.
Speaking of the gradient grey in the narration boxes. They get way too dark at the bottom. The last line in every box is almost impossible to read easily.
Likewise, if you’re not willing to put the work into drawing the individuals in a small crowd scene (Page 8, for example), you’re probably working in the wrong medium. Comics artists live for a page like that because they know that it’s ripe with storytelling opportunities. We should be dragging you away from a page like that… not trying to coax you to do a little drawing!
Page 11 — the character design of these two characters is so similar — and the art is so loose — that I have a hard time telling who is who. That makes reading this comic very hard.
Page 13, Panel 1: Boo. What the heck is that?? Again… comic artists draw. Shortcuts cripple your storytelling.
Page 15, Last panel: I have no idea what the action is here.
The entire series has a basic weakness in visual storytelling. I’m often left feeling as if I don’t know what’s going on — or feeling like you couldn’t be bothered to draw the scene.
Overall, the conceptual storytelling has a flaw that’s a total deal-breaker: I don’t have a reason to care about the character. In fact, the character introduced in the first few pages seems to be a secondary character to the only character that we have ANY reason to care about — the girl with a weak bladder who vomits worms.
I’ve read 24 pages and I don’t see any reason to care about anybody yet. As a reader, that means I probably stopped reading 8 pages ago.
My suggestion:
Total re-write/re-draw. You have two goals…
(1) Rewrite the story in such a way that you give me a reason to care about one, central character. Here’s a hint: Open the story with action. Important action. Crucial action. And then unwind the story from there.
(2) Redraw. And this time, your goal is to product finished art. No more pencil sketches. No more missing backgrounds. No more blobs in crowd scenes. And when you find yourself drawing more than three talking-heads panels on a page, stop and start over… finding new visuals that express then narrative.
I believe it has. I’ve been in touch with them about the issue, but I haven’t gotten a response. I’m hoping it comes back soon.
Looking through it, I’m also spotting a few details that look nice, but others that have me raising my mental Spock eyebrow.
I’d like to hear more about this.
For me, it’s all in the pose. The reaction pose on the right is pretty solid. But the guy on the left is in a super awkward position. Go stand in the mirror and try to adopt that pose. Now… are you showing the same emotion that this character is trying to convey? Also, his eyes are on his hand. Why? His right arm is at a super-awkward angle to the rest of his body. And both characters have no necks! (OK… the guy on the left has a bit of a neck.) That makes for an awkward body gesture.
Now, let’s talk composition. What we have here is a classic “puppet show” composition that so many cartoonists fall into. Super easy to draw. Super boring to read. This is the time to cast a glance down at the WWKD bracelet you wear on your drawing arm.
What Would Kirby Do?
He swing that camera behind the fella on the left, give us a view over his shoulder, present the scared character from a full frontal view, staring into the reader’s eyes… and he’d give the entire thing some dramatic lighting.
I don’t have any I can suggest, but why not use this Forum? Start a thread in the Critique section, and post a drawing a day. I’ll be checking in regularly, and hopefully, so will some other members. We can critique, suggest improvements and techniques, etc.
I have no idea why dhlarson’s post disappeared, but I think I made it reappear. (Tell me if I’m mistaken.) TONS of great information there — Thank you!
In the interest of keeping track of that wind… These changes have just gone into effect in the six countries mentioned. It has been a disaster for news-publishing sites in particular. However, from The Atlantic…
Needless to say, publishers were worried. In response to Struhárik’s story, the head of Facebook’s News Feed, Adam Mosseri, responded to him on Twitter. “This image reflects a test in Slovakia, Sri Lanka, Serbia, Bolivia, Guatemala and Cambodia,” Mosseri wrote. “It’s not global and there are no plans to be.”
I asked about that. My banner is a solid blue, and I see others that have uploaded an image for that space. I was told that the feature was not available to me.
I’m gonna direct any conversation on this topic over here.
